<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />&#8203; &nbsp; Two C-sections and a microphone<br /><br /><br />&#8203;
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MOMMY LEARNING

7/15/2014

 
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Welcome to my new blog!
Actually, it's my good ol' blog, with its new home on my new website!  I figure it’s worth a new blog post.

It’s been exactly four years since I started this blog (on the old site).  A few things have changed since then, including the addition of our beautiful daughter, Elena.

Samson’s now four-and-a-half, and Elena’s two.

Since my first blog post in 2010, I’ve learned a few things about motherhood.  Here’s a taste, a poo-poo platter of mom lessons, if you will...

Having two kids is more than twice as hard as one...unless they’re playing together, in which case it’s half as hard...until they start fighting in which case I give up.

I posted this on FB, but it bears repeating: Motherhood is being happiest when your loved ones are having fun without you.  

Motherhood is also having cute shoes that you never wear.  

The one time you might wear your cute shoes is on “ladies’ night,” which you really look forward to once you have kids--maybe even more than date night. (Sorry, Rob.) Girlfriends need to kick back with their sauvignon blanc, yo!

Children don’t potty train themselves. I’ve looked everywhere, and there is no “laissez faire” method.

It’s true that when you have kids, your “priorities change,” but you still obsess over stupid shit like what kind of throw pillows to buy.

A project (or blog post) should not wait till you have time to make it “thorough” or “complete.”  Do what you can, watch The Good Wife, and go to bed. (Nobody’s reading your entire blog posts anyway.)

Most moms DO care what other people think, but it looks like we don’t because we don’t have time to groom.

Don’t buy your kids things they’re into in the moment. What they like will change before you even bring it home.  The older they get, the more quickly their tastes change.  So there’s no predicting how long they’ll be into something, because that’s constantly shifting.  Best thing to do is find out what their best friend’s older sibling is into and buy that. 

Cooking anything good is a waste of your time.  It will only get eaten by your spouse and he’s too tired to pay attention.

Whatever you say relating to parenting or motherhood makes you sound like a mom.

Speaking of sounding like a mom, "I'd love to hear from you!"  What have YOU learned?  Holla back in the comments.  Or, if you don't have time, just Like, Tweet, Retweet, what have you...

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    Marian Belgray's an L.A.-based standup comic and writer/producer who's contributed to HBO, Cinemax, Nickmom, Comedy Central, Pampers, Funny or Die, and ​Parents.com, with articles and comedy videos.
    Marian’s performed at clubs around Los Angeles, including The Comedy Store, The Improv, IOWest, UCB, The Virgil, and Akbar.  She's the creator and host of CUFirstTuesday, a comedy show the first Tuesday of every month in Silverlake, and a certified writer for Comedywire.  
    She posts about her thoughts and biznatch here and on social media. She hopes you appreciate it.
    You can follow her here:

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