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Is my kid an OVER-SHARER?

1/20/2015

 
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I think my five-year-old is addicted to sharing.  We face his junkie habit every morning, just as we’re putting on his hoodie and heading out the door. (We live in Los Angeles.  A hoodie is all you need in January.  Deal with it, East Coast).  


It goes a little somethin’ like this:

Me: Ok, Samson, if we leave now we can make it in time for morning meeting.

Him:  Oh, wait!  I need to bring something for share time.

(“Share Time” equals Show-and-Tell and “Morning Meeting” = Circle Time.  This is the East Side of L.A..  We don’t use conventional preschool language.)


That’s when the negotiation begins…


Me: Not today, honey.  Today, you can just listen to other friends sharing. 

Him: Please?  I REALLY wanna share something!

Me: There isn’t time.  You can pick something tonight to share tomorrow.

Him: Nooooooo!  I want to share something today!!!!!

Me: I said no.  We’re not talking about it anymore.

Him: Please!  Pleeeeease!  How ‘bout I just grab my rocket ship?

Me: No, it’s supposed to be something “science-y.”  And besides, I said we’re not talking about it anymore.

Him: But a rocket IS science-y!  They have one at the Science Center!  The Endeavor!  

Me: Fine.  Run and get it.  But hurry.


Ok, I’ll admit I’m a pushover sometimes.  I’m a total enabler.  But the tantrum involved if I don’t let him share will suck up even more time and suck up all my energy and my day will just be... sucky.


And I sympathize.  I’m addicted to sharing too.  I figure he gets the same rush in “morning meeting” that I get when I post something on Facebook (like this blog entry).  It’s exhilarating to have people’s attention, to give them a tidbit of info they might not have already known, to start a conversation...

Sure, there’s a level of fear involved.  What if nobody Likes it?  What if somebody makes a mean comment? What if I poop in my pants while I’m doing it? (That’s only happened to me once, and it was a really vulnerable post.)

But that fear only adds to the excitement.  Sharing boosts adrenaline.  I’m putting myself out there.  Maybe somebody will connect with what I’m saying.  Maybe someone is dying to know about space travel (or, in my case, what it’s like to be a mom in Silverlake who shares her son’s addiction to sharing) and I’m helping them.

Even better, maybe someone will enjoy my talk, and share their SB&J with me at lunch.  (Gotta use Sunflower Butter because of all the nut allergies going around.) 



 I could be starting a share train.  I’m sharing it forward!  Share, share, share!


Perhaps this is a healthy habit, and Samson will end up doing TED talks or speaking at NASA conferences.  


Or maybe he’s just starved for attention and he’ll pursue a career in stand-up comedy.

Uh-oh.  Is there a sharing rehab in Malibu I can take him to?


This post was not helpful.  But perhaps you want to help ME.  Offer some advice in the comments.  

Or are you dealing with a sharing addiction at home?  



Go ahead, SHARE!  It feels so good.  





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    Marian Belgray's an L.A.-based standup comic and writer/producer who's contributed to HBO, Cinemax, Nickmom, Comedy Central, Pampers, Funny or Die, and ​Parents.com, with articles and comedy videos.
    Marian’s performed at clubs around Los Angeles, including The Comedy Store, The Improv, IOWest, UCB, The Virgil, and Akbar.  She's the creator and host of CUFirstTuesday, a comedy show the first Tuesday of every month in Silverlake, and a certified writer for Comedywire.  
    She posts about her thoughts and biznatch here and on social media. She hopes you appreciate it.
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